Table of Contents
Introduction
In our quest for personal growth and transformation, we often come across Step Three of the Big Book’s program. It urges us to relinquish control and entrust our will and life to a higher power. But what does this mean, and how do we go about it?
Embracing Humility
To embark on this journey, we must first recognize that relying solely on our own self-will is a recipe for disappointment. Although our intentions may be noble, we frequently find ourselves at odds with others or facing numerous obstacles. It’s as if we see ourselves as the director of a grand play, trying tirelessly to orchestrate every aspect to our liking. If only everyone would follow our lead, we believe, everything would be perfect. We may sometimes exhibit virtuous qualities such as kindness, patience, or selflessness, but we are not immune to negative traits like selfishness or dishonesty. In truth, we are all complex beings, a bundle of contradictions.
The Reality Check
What typically happens when we cling to this self-centered approach? The play we have meticulously scripted doesn’t unfold as planned. Disillusioned, we begin to feel that life is unfair, prompting us to double down on our efforts. We become more demanding or gracious, hoping to sway the outcome. Yet, despite our best intentions, the results continue to disappoint. Our frustration grows, and we start blaming others for our misfortune. We become angry, resentful, and self-pitying. But let’s ask ourselves, even when we try to be kind, aren’t we ultimately seeking something for ourselves? Are we not under the illusion that if we can only control every aspect of our lives, we will find happiness and fulfillment? And isn’t it apparent to everyone around us that this is what we truly want? Our actions only breed resentment and retaliation, creating discord instead of harmony.
The Pitfall of Selfishness
Our self-centeredness, or what modern lingo calls ego-centricity, is at the heart of our troubles. Driven by fear, illusions, and an insatiable desire to put ourselves first, we inadvertently step on the toes of others, provoking their reactions. Sometimes, we may find ourselves hurt without apparent cause, yet upon reflection, we discover that past decisions based on our self-interest have placed us in vulnerable positions.
Taking Responsibility for Our Happiness
Acknowledging the self-will that has led us astray is vital. As alcoholics, we are living proof of the havoc self-centeredness can wreak. Above all else, we must rid ourselves of this selfishness, for it is a matter of life or death. Thankfully, with the help of a higher power, we can overcome this inherent flaw. It becomes evident that we cannot liberate ourselves from self-centeredness through sheer willpower or by merely wishing for change. We require divine intervention.
Surrendering to a Higher Power
Here lies the crux of the matter. We must relinquish our ambitions of playing God, realizing the futility of our attempts. Instead, we choose to cast God as the director of our life’s drama. He becomes our guiding force, and we become His faithful agents. In this metaphorical theater, God assumes the role of a loving father, and we become His cherished children. This paradigm shift might seem simple, yet it is the key that unlocks the door to freedom and fulfillment.
Embracing Transformation
When we sincerely adopt this perspective, astounding transformations occur. We discover a new source of support and guidance. God, in His omnipotence, provides us with everything we need as long as we stay connected to Him and carry out His will. As we solidify this newfound relationship, our self-fixation gradually fades away. We become less preoccupied with our personal plans and desires. Instead, we find joy in making meaningful contributions to the world around us. This shift brings forth a surge of inner strength, peace of mind, and confidence to confront life’s challenges. We no longer fear the present, the future, or what lies beyond. We experience a rebirth of our spirit.
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