14 December 2017, 17:33 | Updated: 14 December 2017, 18:00
2017 might have been a flaming pile of garbage but at least there were some amazing lyrics to keep us sane.
1. “Hey, if I smile with my teeth, bet you believe me”
Paramore – ‘Fake Happy’
Pretending to be happy while feeling like utter shite? We don’t think there will ever be a more relatable song than ‘Fake Happy’.
2. “Now I’m out here looking like revenge, feelin’ like a ten, the best I ever been”
Demi Lovato – ‘Sorry Not Sorry’
‘Sorry Not Sorry’ to now our go-to song when we need an ego boost thanks to these lines.
3. “One, don’t pick up the phone. You know he’s only calling ’cause he’s drunk and alone…”
Dua Lipa – ‘New Rules’
Dua legit deserves a Nobel Prize for saving millions of dickmatised people from contacting their ex’s with this chorus.
4. “I’m sorry but did you say I’m pretty fake, or pretty and fake?”
Sälen – ‘Pretty, Fake’
Our favourite kiss-off to haters from one of our favourite new artists to emerge in 2017.
5. “But we’re the greatest, they’ll hang us in the Louvre. Down the back, but who cares, still the Louvre”
Lorde – ‘The Louvre’
I mean, almost every lyric on Melodrama could have made this list but this one in particular catches Lorde’s genius in all it’s full poetic and unique light.
6. “I just took a DNA test, turns out, I’m 100% that bitch”
Lizzo – ‘Truth Hurts’
This lyric taught us two things. Firstly, you can take DNA tests for being a bitch and, secondly, you should never fuck with Lizzo.
7. “I’m fully charged, nipples are hard, ready to go”
Tove Lo – ‘Disco Tits’
Literally me, 24/7.
Cardi B – ‘Bodak Yellow’
The empowerment anthem of 2017. Cardi B is the motivational speaker we didn’t even know we needed.
9. “I’ll keep your number saved ’cause I hope one day you’ll get the sense to call me”
Khalid – ‘Saved’
Like Lorde, there were several lyrics we could have chosen here but this song, about leaving the door open for an old flame, captures Khalid’s ability to spot the small details and write big, universal songs about them.
10. “I get so lonely, I forget what I’m worth. We get so lonely, we pretend that this works”
SZA – ‘Drew Barrymore’
SZA summed up the whole problem with dating and relationships in just two lines, so I guess we don’t need any more songs about that anymore?
11. “Oh, what a bore to be so adored”
St Vincent – ‘Masseduction’
St Vincent lost none of her ability to write witty one-liners on her latest album, MASSEDUCTION.
12. “My guy pretty like a girl”
Frank Ocean – ‘Chanel’
This line will never not be important.
13. “Because I’m in love with your dark side, so don’t turn on the light and stay with me tonight”
Phoebe Ryan – ‘Dark Side’
There’s plenty of songs about falling in love with bad people, but there aren’t that many songs about being in love with the bad qualities of a person. On ‘Dark Side’, Phoebe Ryan flipped the traditional dating-a-bad-boy song on it’s head and we love her all the more for it. Now she just needs to hurry out with that album. Like now.
14. “In the middle of the night, in my dreams, you should see the things we do”
Taylor Swift – ‘Ready For It?’
This is a classic Taylor Swift lyric. We might not be 100% sold on Reputation-era Taylor, but it was reassuring to know that she can still write a killer line (and songs) when she wants too.
15. “‘Cause I got issues, but you got ’em too”
Julia Michaels – ‘Issues’
Julia Michaels, aka our favourite human being, has written songs for all your faves (Selena, Justin, Ed) but she finally kept one for herself this year and, my god, was it a good one.
16. “I gave you the messiest head, you give me the messiest head”
Halsey – ‘Lie’
This double-entendre never fails to catch our attention, even after the 1000th listen to Hopeless Fountain Kingdom.
17. “I’m crying while I’m cummin'”
Lana Del Rey – ‘In My Feelings’
File this one under ‘Lana being Lana’.