David, a 28-year-old in England, wanted to lose his virginity or he was going to die. Feeling doomed to a sexless life—and starting to surprise if that life was even price dwelling—he thought of hiring an escort, or visiting Amsterdam’s notorious Crimson Mild District.
Then he discovered r/VirginityExchange.
The subreddit is a group for virgins to attach, meet up and (hopefully) have intercourse for the primary time. In contrast to different Reddit sex-swap zones like r/RandomActsofBlowjob (for no-strings-attached oral motion) and r/DirtyR4R (assume Craigslist’s Informal Encounters), the 12,000-follower r/VirginityExchange permits solely virgins to put up; the truth is, it boasts a prolonged algorithm to maintain pesky non-virgins away. It’s additionally decidedly sex-positive—i.e., you gained’t discover misogynist incel teams right here.
We tracked down two guys who used it to get laid for the primary time. Each have been skilled at utilizing Reddit to make mates and felt assured they wouldn’t get catfished. They every tried just a few unsuccessful posts — after which, they are saying, they every received fortunate.
Each males say the stigma of holding onto their V-cards had begun to creep into their psychological well being. With in any other case “established” lives, this was the one space they felt was missing. So after resolving to lose their virginities a technique or one other, neither regrets utilizing Reddit. The deed is completed, they usually really feel liberated for it.
Listed here are their tales.
The Buildup
David, 28, England: I began r/nofap a few week earlier than posting. For guys like myself who had mainly educated their sexual intuition to be sated from masturbation, it didn’t take lengthy to begin rebooting it in a extra wholesome manner towards discovering a associate. After my second put up, I received speaking to at least one lady who was additionally a virgin, however, and no offense to her, it was because of a critical weight and appears downside, plus confidence points that most likely stemmed from the primary two. I declined to satisfy her, and it put me off for awhile.
Ultimately I received a PM from a wonderful girl, and we rapidly scoped one another out. I used to be the primary to ship an image, and all through, I attempted to be the primary to open on particulars as to why I had stayed a virgin. It’s actually essential via the entire speaking stage that you just’re absolutely open along with your associate — they’re the one who’s hoping that will help you.
Intercourse was one thing I wasn’t going to be shy about. The women on there are very sex-positive — it’s most likely why they’re prepared to be there — so there’s much less probability of a virgin working right into a prude and neither having a superb time.
After every week and a half of Reddit back-and-forth, we booked a resort two weeks into the long run. I paid for the resort and my journey, however let her choose the precise place so she’d really feel higher about the place she was going to be. Within the meantime, we moved the dialog to WhatsApp, which allowed us to maneuver to extra sexual discuss, amping up pleasure for the day. With out getting too private, we actually had the measure of one another’s wishes by the top of the 2 weeks.
I met her on a Saturday at lunchtime after driving for 4 hours. Years of by no means dropping your virginity isn’t price being stingy over transport and resort prices. We didn’t share final names till the morning of assembly up, regardless of being three weeks into understanding one another.
u/NewCastleOnYourKnees, 25, England: I received just a few messages from my put up. Most didn’t pan out for one motive or one other. Ultimately, after chatting with one lady, I felt some chemistry and determined to go all out and journey to see her. Fortuitously, she didn’t dwell too removed from me so I booked a resort and journey and headed up in March.
I used to be tremendous nervous however excited on the best way there. We’d exchanged just a few footage main as much as the day as a taster, but it surely’s very totally different to seeing them within the flesh, in fact. She took me to a bar simply to loosen up a bit and verify that I wasn’t a serial killer. I used to be pleasantly stunned at how simple it was to speak to her. We had fairly a “deep” discuss my causes for being there. My resort had a pool, so we headed again there after a short time, stored speaking and I took just a few sneaky glances.
It’s Enterprise Time
David: We received at it just about right away. We each knew why we have been there, and there have been issues I’d expressed I wished to do — issues I felt I’d waited 10 years for. Shyness wasn’t going to cease me from asking, if she was receptive.
I lastly received to discover her physique, and he or she was amped up a lot that she got here on my fingers fairly fast—it felt actually good making one other individual cum. She took me into her mouth, and I’m not ashamed to say I used to be too nervous and truly began dropping my erection. Mouths and pussies really feel very totally different, and you could battle with the totally different sensation should you’re used to a loss of life grip. We chilled out for a bit, simply getting to the touch, kiss, make up for misplaced years. I actually loved the intimacy.
After we received all the way down to having intercourse, I didn’t end the primary time. She got here a few occasions, however I couldn’t, so we went out for meals and a drink earlier than coming again and making an attempt once more. We settled into speaking and touching once more, then I supplied her a therapeutic massage, which morphed right into a relaxed fuck. I discovered that pounding for her pleasure gained’t all the time get me off, that it’s okay to seek out the angle and pace that works for me, too. I used to be additionally relaxed sufficient by that time that I discovered the “feeling” and rode it to complete.
NewCastleOnYourKnees: I’ll not go into particulars for privateness, however I’ll say it did really feel fairly surreal. We simply chilled out and watched TV for some time. I used to be not sure when to make a transfer. Fortuitously, she’d completed this earlier than so she kindly took her probability and kissed me. I discovered that I like kissing and being near somebody—feeling their breath is an incredible feeling.
We made out for a couple of minutes, then she went to the lavatory and undressed. Actually, I believed it will be terrifying to get bare in entrance of somebody, but it surely simply felt pure and like a superbly cheap factor to do.
She was very mild at first, taking it sluggish; she stored asking me if I used to be all proper, which was very candy. After a couple of minutes, all she requested was, “Wanna bang?,” to which I replied, “Sure, please!”
Once more, the sensation isn’t what I anticipated, however implausible all the identical—having that intimacy is an intoxicating feeling. We have been at it some time and he or she got here twice however I couldn’t. It received to 2 a.m., and we have been each drained so [we] finally dozed off. We went for spherical two within the morning, and I used to be capable of end finally. I wish to assume we each loved it and I’ll be seeing her once more quickly to increase my horizons some extra.
Was Reddit Price It?
David: My life is for the higher. I don’t need to get too darkish, however once I was at my lowest about it round Christmas, I used to be solely dwelling for my niece and nephews. I used to be going to take my good job and preserve incomes cash till I may abdomen the only life no extra, then go away all of it to them and finish it.
Nothing rapid, however in 5 years, perhaps 10, perhaps extra. I used to be sick of feeling excluded from life, just like the world of intercourse and relationships was one huge in-joke that I wasn’t instructed and didn’t get. However then I made a decision the issue was solely my virginity — I wanted rid of that by hook or criminal.
I felt so down, all my seems to be, physique, training, every little thing was wasted on a virgin like me. I felt like shit, I uninstalled Tinder, and determined that I used to be completed. I’d dedicate life to being a terrific uncle to my niece and nephews.
Then I discovered r/VirginityExchange.
Simply not having to keep up a lie about not being a virgin, and having a lady who cherished to be with me sexually, having that monkey lastly off my again, and being good at intercourse, has lifted my confidence a lot greater than earlier than. I can verify that making a lady cum is one probably the most confidence-building, masculine-feeling issues I’ve ever completed.
Matching individuals seeking to lose their virginity with individuals prepared, joyful and assured sufficient to take it’s nice. I actually was solely searching for a roadmap in that space, and I received it.
NewCastleOnYourKnees: Actually, I’d simply had sufficient. I wasn’t going to have the ability to chat to somebody in actual life, so Reddit could be a greater wager for me. I had no obligation to truly undergo with something [on Reddit] if I didn’t get a superb vibe or any responses. I simply hoped that I’d discover somebody who understood me and my circumstances. I’ve met mates via Reddit, and I hoped somebody to go that additional mile with me was on the market too.
It doesn’t hassle me within the slightest “how” I misplaced it. On the finish of the day, the identical factor occurs. With two prepared, consenting individuals who empathize and admire the opposite’s scenario, I can see no draw back. There’s an terrible stigma on younger individuals having intercourse as quickly as doable, which might be very traumatizing for quieter individuals. Perhaps if the sub will get far more fashionable, catfishing may change into extra prevalent, however that’s true of most courting/hookup subs.
Any Recommendation for Fellow Virgins?
David: Coming to the web to ask a stranger to take your virginity ought to be one of many final resorts. Make your self higher. Go to the fitness center, choose up a pastime, work in your profession. Funnily sufficient, this all kicked off for me once I was shopping for a home — a time once I was virtually too busy to be coping with the virginity factor. Simply do one thing in your life that stops it from being all about intercourse. You’ll want to be somebody whose virginity is price taking, not a charity case. Charity circumstances won’t ever be horny, and belief me, you need your associate to cum, and for that, they should discover one thing in you to be interested in.
