Finding the time to have meaningful conversations with our daughters can be challenging amidst our daily obligations. Engaging in “a talk” may not be high on their priority list either. Discussions about important topics like handling conflicts, dealing with mean kids, or even subjects like body image, eating disorders, and dating can become awkward and uncomfortable for both parties. As our daughters grow, new issues arise, and they may feel hesitant to share their concerns due to embarrassment or fear of judgment. On the other hand, as moms, we might be hesitant to divulge our own past experiences when confronted with difficult questions.
However, there is good reason to break through these barriers and establish open lines of communication. Engaging in dialogue can help daughters understand their own values while forming their opinions. Additionally, it provides crucial information that may keep them safe and enables them to make informed decisions when peer pressure or risky situations arise.
Books can serve as invaluable tools to facilitate these conversations. When mothers and daughters read the same titles, it becomes a gateway to discussing the themes presented within the pages, without the pressure of delving into personal details. For instance, a book like “Speak” by Laurie Halse Anderson can initiate a discussion about date rape and the role of alcohol without directly addressing personal experiences. It allows for brainstorming solutions and strategies for staying safe while attending social events—a non-confrontational approach to preparing girls for high school and socializing with friends more independently.
Mothers also benefit from listening to their daughters’ concerns. Discussing the actions of a character in a book may illuminate topics that were previously unknown or unaddressed. It becomes a non-threatening way to gain insight into their daughters’ worlds.
Here are a few recommended books that can spark meaningful conversations:
Girls Ages 9 to 12
- “Flipped” by Wendelin Van Draanen: This captivating story presents events from two perspectives, showcasing how perceptions can change over time.
- “The Mother-Daughter Book Club” by Heather Vogel Frederick: Join four moms and their daughters in a reading group that explores the complexities of mother-daughter relationships and how discussing books fosters understanding.
- “What the Moon Said” by Gayle Rosengren: Set during the Great Depression, this book follows Esther’s journey as her family moves from Chicago to a farm, unraveling the reasons behind her mother’s actions and the challenges they face.
- “Trauma Queen” by Barbara Dee: This story follows Marigold, who assumes the role of the responsible one in her family, navigating her complex relationship with her unconventional performance-artist mother.
Girls Ages 13 and Up
- “Sorta Like a Rock Star” by Matthew Quick: Despite challenging circumstances, Amber’s positive outlook helps her assist society’s misfits and find the silver lining in difficult situations.
- “Skin and Bones” by Sherry Shahan: Through a six-week program for teens with eating disorders, Jack discovers more about himself and learns about others’ relationships with food.
- “Stargirl” by Jerry Spinelli: Stargirl’s journey from outcast to popularity and back to outcast challenges Leo to redefine friendship and societal norms.
- “Little Fish: A Memoir” by Ramsey Beyer: Follow the memoir of a girl transitioning from a small town to the big city for her first year of college, exploring the themes of leaving home and growing up.
Want to start a book club? Check out “Six Steps to Starting a Mother-Daughter Book Club” for guidance on establishing a meaningful literary community for mothers and daughters.
About the Author:
Cindy Hudson, the founder of two mother-daughter book clubs, offers her expertise on fostering connections through shared reading experiences.
